So When Do We Acquire The "Label" Of Infertility?

When does a couple become “infertile”? Are you an infertile couple if only one person has issues? Are you a couple dealing with infertility if you’ve only been trying for a few months? Because I must be honest- I get exceptionally fucked off annoyed when someone actually has the audacity to complain about trying to fall pregnant without success- when it’s been all of 3 months!!!

What “qualifies” someone for this title?

It may sound strange, but I genuinely believe it’s a hard earned title, even if it is unwanted.

And please, for heavens sake, don’t tell me to relax and/ or stop thinking about it… or that it’ll happen when we stop trying.

When I’m not worrying about the knucklehead and his shenanigans (which is about 6 posts in and of itself in the last few weeks- which are all negative so I haven’t finished them), then our trying to have a baby is pretty much about ALL I think about.

Yes, I now have wedding planning to distract me a little, but my thoughts are dominated by our TTC adventure. By far.

I check and recheck calendars and dates almost obsessively.

I daydream and wish and hope and pray all the time.

I have stopped smoking, cut out all alcohol, cut out most caffeine and I’m trying to watch what I eat in order to lose some weight (which is where I am failing miserably).

We’re both taking supplements and vitamins that are supposed to aid fertility- and which cost a fucking fortune.

I Google symptoms and statistics and look for websites that will give me tips and tricks... anything that may give me a solution.

I tell all the doctors I have to see that I am trying to fall pregnant, so anything they decide to give me had better be pregnancy safe.

And I get so pissed off when aunt Flo arrives every month that you’d think she was an actual person on whom I could vent my anger and frustration.

A part of me wants to move forward and decide that yes, we are battling with infertility… but it’s only been 11 months. And that’s such a short space of time…

That same part of me is terrified of making that call because I am afraid of dealing with it “officially”. And I am afraid of making that decision, because then I may want to consider going for treatments and such- which we decided we weren’t going to do because of the strain it causes in so many aspects of a couple’s life.

We are looking at going to see a specialist simply to find out if our endeavours thus far have made a difference at all, because if they haven’t it’ll be a real waste to continue, and then we may stop trying sooner than the end of December.

But we’ll see.

And we’re pretty much carrying on as we would were we not trying. We’re making plans for holidays, and trips overseas. We’re planning our wedding. I’m thinking about courses I’d like to do and starting my own business. its not like we’ve put everything on hold until we have a baby. And we’re really trying to stay positive about the possibility of having our own baby too.

Thankfully our sex life remains spectacular… I think I may have put a stop to this endeavour already had our sex life suffered at all because of this.

Giving ourselves a time limit for trying to have a baby may baffle a lot of people, but I think its keeping me sane. Knowing that we won’t be doing this forever makes it a little bit easier to deal with. But at the same time, I find myself wondering how I could limit myself so.

I am already 35 years old- and you can ask any expert, the fertility downhill slide for women starts then. I am relatively healthy, and I have been pregnant twice before with no problems, but I am getting older.

And yes, I know there are women having babies naturally well into their forties nowadays. And yes, I know there are options and treatments, but there’s never a guarantee.

Ever.

My darling Glugster has problems too. We knew this when we started.

Having an idea of what we faced when we started made a big difference because we weren’t going in blind… but it still doesn’t make it any less disappointing when I start my period again every month.

And then there’s stopping TTC.

I think it sounds dreadful. And the thought reduces me to tears because I will be admitting failure.

At this point in time, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to call it off… but when we decided to go ahead with this we made the decision not to keep trying forever.

And when we do decide to stop trying to conceive a child of our own, it’s not simply going to be a case of saying we’re stopping and leaving it at that.

I am 90% sure that I will be going back onto the pill because I know that if I don’t, I will always be “trying”.

That I will be holding my breath every fucking month that “…maybe this time…”

...come play on my rollercoaster...

Blog Fluff...

I did this a while ago (courtesy of a link supplied by Cath), and I stashed it till I needed some blog fodder.
I thought it was pretty cool.

Free Talk

ADD and ADHD

When: Thursday 9 July

Where: Fresh Earth Food Store, 103 Komatie Road, Emmarentia (map)

Time: 10h00

Guest Speaker: Dr Tanith Davidson (there will be no food demo)

This is a Free talk/demonstration.

To reserve your seat contact us on 011 646 4404 or e-mail info@freshearth.co.za

Wow... I Am Betrothed...

No- we're not engaged yet- we're betrothed.
Thats what they call it when the groom-to-be and the brides family agree to a match.
My darling Glugster and I took my folks out to lunch yesterday. We were originally planning to go to "Browns of Rivonia" (because I love the place) but because my daddy darling's diet is so severely limited, we opted for an easier option and went to Montecasino for the afternoon instead.
We had lunch at John Dory's, and then strolled through the bird park, did a little gambling... which I really cannot develop a taste for (and where Glugs laughed at me again for hitting the cash-out button so quickly), browsed through the shops at Monte and just had a lekker afternoon.
Glugs asked my folks just after lunch if he could have their blessing to marry me, and even though my dad had said he would say- no just for fun- he didn't.
So now all I have to wait for is the ring to be finished and for Glugs to decide how he wants to ask me.
He's very relieved to have my folks' blessing. He was a little embarrassed when I started telling my folks about our wedding plans and he hadn't asked them if he may marry me yet... Of course that hadn't even occurred to me! I just barrelled on ahead.

And on Saturday morning- after we went to see another venue- we went to the jeweller who is making my ring. She can talk the hind leg off a donkey, but the ring is now in-process. We already had the design and Glugs had narrowed his choice down to 2 stones, and we were there merely to finalise the design and make sure we were all on the same page and for Glugs to choose a stone. But it made us late for the rest of the day and we arrived at BlogGirls well over an hour late!

I'll post about the rest of the weekend a little later.

I'm going to spend today working and trying not to be too distracted by wedding planning ideas!

Lent-For-Liam Has Paypal!!!

You heard me right!

A PayPal account has been set up so that any non-South Africans can contribute to this fantabulous cause. I'm not 100% sure how it works- but I think you can use this email address as a reference:

ljcadger at gmail dot com

And here's a link to the Facebook Group thats been set up for more information, which is also where you can see who all is involved in managing the fund- so you know your contribution is going where its supposed to go.

There are also other ways to contribute, so go read through all the goodies and pick one!

I'm in.

Are you?

Angel's Mind Is In Process!!!

Guess what bunnies!

I am having a blog template designed specially for me by the genius who is @merylpixelmagic!!

My darling Glugster bought angelsmind.co.za for me, and though I've had it a couple of months already- I am only now getting my arse in gear and making it my own for real.

I am amazed in that I simply gave Meryl from pixelmagic a list of things that I think are me- strawberries, cupcakes, dragons, ADHD... and told her to do what she could.

Lemme tell you- she outdid herself!

This is, I think, pretty much what its going to look like. Isn't it fantastic!?!??! Whaddayathink?

The part thats making me nervous though, is the need to switch to WordPress after more than four years with Blogger. I have to switch to WP to get the functionality I want, and its where Meryl does her work too.

I am going to be a little sad to move my main interweb home off of blogger- though I'll still be there as my other blogs aren't going anywhere. And of course I am terrified of losing what I've done there for the last 4 years... but thankfully my Glugster is very clever when it comes to stuff like this and he can help me make sure my stuff is all properly backed up and all that. And of course links will have to change...

And Meryl also does Twitter pages, which is next on my list!

Planning Our Wedding!!!

Yup!
I am indeed!
We're working on a guestlist, we've set a budget, and we've started looking at venues.
My mom thinks its hysterical that I am starting to plan our wedding before Glugs and I are even engaged, but I've never exactly stuck to the traditional sequence of things have I...?
We know we want to get married and we will be getting engaged, but I don't want to wait till we only have a few months before we start planning.
We've even chosen a colour scheme!
How exquisite is this!!??!?

RED and PURPLE

The wedding expo we went to was so much fun! I actually suprised myself with the dresses that made me gasp when they were on the catwalk... not exactly what I thought I would like for myself. These designs belong to Ricca Dee and F.Wilson.

There were several tables at the expo decorated with a particular theme, and there were cakes and flowers as well as gowns on display! There were companies who specialise in organising honeymoons, there were boudoir photography demonstrations, fashion shows for the designers, jewellery makers, photographers, hair stylists, makeup artists, stationery designers and companies who organise music.

We also looked at the expo venue as a possible venue for us- but I was unimpressed by the gardens and I think its too small for us- though their reception hall is lovely.

We have since visited 3 other venues, and we've decided on a rating scale for them!

Diep in die Berg scored a 6/10- I think its too small, I don't like the stairs to the chapel, the gardens not as nice as I'd like and the chapel isn't very pretty.

River Meadow Manor scored 8- its stunning but may be too small.

Her Majesty's scored 7 (big, great hall, but a little too rustic for us) and Villa Tuscana a 2. Why a 2? Their fake rock look and over the top kitsch style was just too much...
We have appointments to see 3 more by early July.

My darling Glugster also bought me the Bride's Diary, which is a handy and attractive hardcover reference for everything you could need- as well as making a nice keepsake. Its already stuffed full of cards and pamphlets!

Oh, and the date we've chosen? Will only be announced closer to the time.

Ooh I am SO excited!!!

My ADHASA Parenting Seminar Presentation

On June 13th, at 14h20, I got up in front of an audience of about 50 people- which included my mommy darling, my sister B, my Glugster, and L and P (the parents from one of the families I "mentor" via phone and email) to speak at the ADHASA Parenting Seminar.

It was great.

I think it went quite well, with people nodding and laughing in all the right places. I only had 15 minutes- and a set topic which helped me stay focussed- but I do hope I'll be invited to speak again and be given more time next year.

As always, the seminar was immensely interesting and informative, and I am already looking forward to next year.

And here, as promised, is my presentation- including my introduction which didn't get read out but was provided in the notes given to attendees.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel is mom to her 18 year old ADHDer son, Damien, and until about a year ago she was a single mom.
Her son has taught her life lessons- like stopping to smell the roses, and seeing the beauty in a simple sunrise, and he continues to teach her to take it one day at a time.
She’s a business consultant by trade; she collects ADHD reference books and is an avid campaigner for ADHD awareness.
You can read about her life with Damien on her blog here, and you can email her here

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Growing Up with ADHD- a Parent’s Experience

I’d like to start by reading a poem written by a woman named Michelle Flood, whose son Austin was 6 when she wrote it. It’s a poem I have read and re-read on several occasions, to remind myself that I am not ever alone in this.

You've Seen Me Before
I'm the mom dragging her kid out of the car in the school parking lot while he holds on to the interior for dear life.

I'm the mom walking her kid into school wearing no shoes or coat when it's 12 degrees outside.
I'm the mom who issues a sigh instead of a gasp when caller ID shows it's the school calling.
Again.
I'm the mom whose cell phone number is on the school's speed dial.
I'm the mom who has strangers tell her she has the most charming son while caregivers tell her he's exhausting and suggest I look elsewhere for care.
I'm the mom who knows to hold onto the stair railing so she doesn't get pushed down the stairs in her child's rage.
I'm the mom who has put her kid in his room then sat outside crying while he emptied his closet and threw hangers at the door, chipping off the paint.
I'm the mom who had a lock on her kid's bedroom door to keep him in his room at night when he was young.
I'm the mom who knows the best way to carry a 50lb kid in a manner where she can't get kicked, hit or bit.
I'm the mom who can turn her back for 2 seconds and lose her kid in a hotel, on a cruise ship, at the park, or anywhere that child abductors might be lurking.
I'm the mom who will let her 6 year old go into the men's bathroom at McDonalds alone rather than suffer a meltdown of epic proportions.
I'm the mom who people shake their heads at and say, "That kid wouldn't be doing that if he were my son", or "that kid just needs a swift kick in the pants".
On the other hand, I'm the mom who gets bear hugs and "I love you" with no prompting and right out of the blue.
I'm the mom who gets asked at bedtime, "Will you share some special time with me tonight?"
I'm the mom who has a little boy hugging and kissing her with total abandon - in front of his friends.
I'm the mom who smiles proudly as her son charms the waitress, the mailman and the pizza delivery kid.
I'm the mom who gets to celebrate even the tiniest accomplishments of her son because each one means so much.
I'm the mom who has a son who can make her double over laughing because he has such a great sense of humour.
And I'm the mom who can love her son through good and bad unconditionally.
I'm the mom with an ADHD son.

As my intro said, my ADHDer son is 18 years old, and I was a single mom.
When my Damien was first diagnosed, I did what most of us ADHDer parents did back then especially- I clammed up. I didn’t tell Damien, I didn’t tell my friends or family, and I didn’t tell the school.
I was determined that I would fix this on my own. It took me many, many… many years and even more hard-won lessons to get where I am now, and I’m hoping that by sharing my story- I can help other ADHDer parents learn those lessons a little sooner than I did.
I’m also not going to go too much into my son’s ADHD issues- because I don’t want to scare you- but I will say that he was diagnosed at 6 years old with ADHD combined type, with severe hyperactivity.
Our life together has been FAR from boring let me tell you.
Most who know me will tell you I can go on and on for days, but I have a limited time today and a set topic to stick to.
And on that note, I’d like to welcome you to the rollercoaster that is parenting an ADHDer, and I’d like to congratulate you on being chosen as one of the few who get to raise the Richard Branson’s of the future.

So how many times have you been told your child is spoilt?
How many times has someone said to you “Don’t you know Ritalin is addictive!?”
Have you ever been told that you need to discipline your child more?
And how about the ever popular “How could you drug your child?”
And how many of you get those gilt-edged all but engraved invitations to parents evening with specially allocated timeslots and your name on a list on the door.
And how many of you have wanted to trade places with the parents who are sitting on the row of chairs outside a classroom- waiting their turn to see the teacher inside- when you walk past whilst they glare at you and wonder how come you get to jump the queue?
Add to that having teachers and caregivers telling you your child is disruptive, that he can’t sit still, and they don’t know that to do with him.
That he’s failing.
It’s no wonder we don’t talk about our kid’s disability.

I once read that having ADHD was like a person driving a Ferrari fitted with Toyota brakes. There’s all the beauty, power and speed, but none of the control. Its one of my favourite ADHD metaphors and I use it to remind myself and my son that he is brilliant- but needs guidance.

Think about all the ways your child’s ADHD affects you. Think about how it affects your home life, and your social life. ADHD does not only turn a kid’s schooling upside down. It’s not only at school that he can’t concentrate or focus on what he needs to do. Think of the concessions you make at home, the concerns you have if you go out somewhere. Think of the costs involved in his treatment.
And when you worry about it, remember that your ADHDer will worry about it too because he will pick it up from you.

If you are anything like me, then you’ve cried yourself to sleep at night, wondering what you could have, or should have done differently. You’ve lain awake trying to fathom why it’s your kid who has to be the one diagnosed with this “thing”. You battle to grasp why even the simplest lessons don’t seem to stick in his head despite your and the teacher’s best efforts. You will torture yourself trying to understand why he can remember all the biological names for different shark species, but he can’t pass a spelling test. You lose sleep worrying ceaselessly about your child’s future and what he’s going to be able to achieve.
You see your dreams of your child possibly becoming a surgeon or a lawyer, melting like ice-cream dropped on hot tar.
And when you wake up in the morning, most of the worry is gone, and the thing that remains is the determination to prove your child will be different, and ensure your child will pass.
This is not a bad thing- but unless you understand a little bit about how ADHD works, you can do immeasurable damage to your relationship with your child and to his self esteem.
Then after an afternoon of fighting over incomprehensibly difficult homework that should be a breeze, and having to replace yet another lunch tin, you cry yourself to sleep again.

And trust me, no matter how much research you do, you will still ask yourself the same questions over and over again. Second guessing the decisions you’ve already made and wracking your brain for solutions.

When you want to scream with exasperation because you’ve gotten yet another phone call from the school, or the twelfth detention notification for the year has been retrieved from the depths of his probably dilapidated school bag- stop and think for a second about how you feel every time this happens.
As a grown up you can probably process your emotions, thoughts and frustrations. You can think things through. You can try and find workable solutions.
Maybe you have a blog like I do, or keep a diary. Or maybe you see a shrink regularly (which I highly recommend by the way).
You can put words to your emotions.

Your ADHDer will battle to do that. He will battle with that and a lot of other real life scenarios that the rest of us don’t think twice about.
And you will feel your ADHDers pain and frustration by parental osmosis.
And your ADHDer, because he is the emotional sweetheart that he is- will feel what you feel because he can see what you’re going through. And he will also know he has “caused” it- but he won’t know why, or how to deal with those feelings.
And so the cycle continues.

Let me give you a few examples.
Your ADHDer will battle to read body language and pick up on subtle visual and aural cues. This is because he’s looking but not seeing, and listening but really not hearing.
He will over react to jokes, and a little bit of teasing from Uncle Harry at the family Christmas lunch. And when he explodes with shouting and tears you will react accordingly.
Unless you’re Yoda, you will probably take some kind of action against your ADHDer for over-reacting, whilst Uncle Harry and the rest of the family may wonder why your ADHDer is so immature. Makes for an uncomfortable day all round.
However, if you include your family in what you’re all going through, they may be willing and eager to help you out. Even if Uncle Harry says “he doesn’t believe ADHD exists”, the majority of people want to know how to help you because they love you.

Most of the time- when an ADHDer is out of his regular “home setting”- he’ll be interested in his environs because it’s new, and different and interesting.
This is one of the reasons people who meet your ADHDer for the first time will be blown away by his chatty, interested, engaging demeanour. Take him to the same place and the same people a few times and the novelty wears off.
This is a part of the reason why granny and Grampa will tell you he’s no problem when he’s with them, when he all but drives you to drink!
It could also be a little insight into why ADHDers who spend weekends with their other parent are so different when they’re there.
If you keep this in mind, you won’t find yourself asking “why?” all over again when he gets back to you and back to normal.

I know how fearful we all are of labelling our children, but giving your family- and others- guidelines on how to deal with your ADHDer (whether you’re around or not) is vital.
Whether the people you interact with on a regular basis “believe in ADHD” or not is beside the point. You need to make them understand that you believe it is real, and that it affects you and yours- and especially your ADHDer- in a very big way.
You need to put your foot down.
The consequences can be dismal…
If you ask a family member or a friend to have your ADHDer overnight, or for a few days so you can have a much-deserved “me time”, you may have some well-meaning but misinformed aunt/ uncle/ best friend not ensure your ADHDer takes his meds or sticks to his diet because they don’t want to “play policeman”.
If like my Damien, your ADHDer is hyperactive with a capital H, and impulsive- not taking his meds will make him unmanageable for whoever is looking after him, but they will not immediately put it down to the fact that he hasn’t had his meds.
They’ll wonder what they hell had gotten into him! Your ADHDer will have a wonderful time, unfettered and full of marvellous ideas, and unable to understand the change in attitude towards him. And their trying to bribe him or threaten him into being quiet or behaving himself will have little or no result and just frustrate everyone.
In all likelihood they won’t even tell you, but you probably won’t be able to ask them for help again any time soon.
But if you’re firm from the time that you start to share what you’re going through- you’ll get the help you need.

And sharing your child’s disability benefits him too.
If people accept that he has a disorder- and there will always be those who don’t- he gets that little bit more patience and attention that he needs. He gets a little bit of leeway for making a noise because his loved ones will learn to pick their battles as you do.
If he’s not hurting himself or putting himself or anyone else in harms way you can probably ignore whatever it is he’s doing.
If he wants to wear the same shirt every day for a week, ask him every day if he’s sure he wants to wear it, and let it go.
If he refuses to brush his teeth- leave it. It’s not worth arguing about. Just remind him about it gently and let it go.
People who know and love your ADHDer will see his brilliance too, and with gentle and regular reminders that he has a disability, they’ll have even more of a chance to see what he can become with the right guidance.
And if you speak to your ADHDer about his treatment and involve him in it, it will help him understand why he sometimes feels so frustrated that he screams. Involving him means you can perhaps give him words to use or other options when he feels annoyed with himself.
Involving him also means that he will understand- even if it’s just a little bit- why it is that you are crying yourself to sleep sometimes.
Involving your child’s school in his treatment means he benefits from his teachers’ awareness of his disorder as well as from other concessions that diagnosed ADHDers are allowed- like extra time in exams and tests. One of the first people who will pick up a change in your ADHDers behaviour is his teacher, and giving her a heads’ up will allow her to help you and your ADHDer.

Just about everything in an ADHDers life is a battle of some kind.
Making and keeping friends.
Simple social settings are immensely complicated.
They love to be the centre of attention and this is misconstrued by the general population because they come across as brash and overbearing and loud.
Bullies love ADHDers because it’s so easy to get a rise out of them.
Remembering to bring home school shoes, lunch tin, jersey and suitcase is a major exercise.
Completing homework assignments is a battle on its own- and then remembering to hand it in is a whole ‘nother kettle of bananas!
And they always seem to be in trouble of some kind because they simply do NOT think before they act.

This may seem like I’m going on and on about the negative- but the point I’m making is this.
There are things you can do to help your ADHDer with his daily battles. There are ways to help with homework and school. There are ways to help him recognise social cues.

Accepting your ADHDer has a disability is step one on this road.
Accepting that you will have to remind him every day to do simple things like put on his school shoes or remember to brush his teeth is step two.
And speaking to your friends, family and your ADHDer is step three.

After you’ve managed to do those three things- implementing the suggestions you find in books or hear in support groups is just that little bit easier.
And it really does get a little easier over time.

So thank you for your time; and thank you ADHASA for giving me the opportunity to share a little bit of my rollercoaster ride.

Go On. Be A Hero!

Wenchy is a blogger I’ve been reading since I started blogging just over 4 years ago, and our lives have several similarities. We both have an ADHDer son, and for most of the time I’ve read her blog she’s also been a single mom. Like me, her camera goes everywhere with her and we both photograph everything we see! And she and I both fell madly in love with incredible men within a few weeks of each other too! It took us almost 4 years to actually meet face-to-face, and we had to go all the way to Cape Town to do so even though we both live in Joburg!

The issue here is that her Liam needs to go to a remedial high school that can cater for his educational needs like a regular high school can’t.

Just like my Damien did.

Wenchy’s Liam has ADHD, suffers from extreme anxiety, panic attacks and is on medication for depression, concentration and anti-psychotic as he has bouts of hallucinations. A learning disability has also been diagnosed. He is currently in a main stream environment where he is not coping and required remedial assistance on a weekly basis (because she can’t afford more than that). There is a professional who acts as Liam’s “scribe” since he cannot articulate the information he knows into writing, an education psychologist meets with Liam weekly and he attends a psychiatric hospital monthly to oversee his medication… all which she struggles to provide with limited resources.

She’s a marvel and tries really hard with Liam, but she has 2 other kidlets who also need their mommy! Wenchy is very worried about Liam going to high school because there is no way he would cope emotionally, academically or socially. Remedial care has been suggested by more than one professional caring for Liam.

She found a government school which will be able to help with Liam’s needs, and she’s getting all the forms filled in, doctors’ recommendations, etcetera to apply to the school, although I’ve been told there is a long waiting list…

So here’s how you can be a hero.

I am so climbing on the band wagon with this because I- maybe more than most people- can empathise with Wenchy on what her son needs, and I can vouch for the costs of such a school! When I took the knucklehead out of school as of May 1^st this year, I was paying just under R2700 a month. That’s R32400 per year- and that was a private school. Trust me bunnies, that’s a helluva lot of money for a single mom.

On another blogger’s prompting, what is happening now is the following.

Firstly, they have opened an account for Liam’s school fund. Secondly, Supermom is an accountant and will manage the money. Then the setting up of a PayPal account is under investigation, and lastly we will be using R100 “notes” to help build Liam’s future. And there are a few ways you might want to get involved too.

There’s Project Sushi

For the blogger who came up with this scheme, R100 is a plate of sushi. She is going to give up one plate of sushi a month and put a debit order of R100 into the fund. That’s R1 200 into the fund for the year. And she has determined to find 5 friends to join her, making 5 x R1 200 = R6 000. Their R6 000 + her R1 200 = R7 200 per year.

Anyone who’s willing to give up a night out a month, or a regular take-out order can do the same!

And there’s Project Thanksgiving

Wenchy has this tradition of Thanksgiving which she started doing years ago, based on the US tradition. You can use her past posts as inspiration, but what it comes down to is that you get to plan whatever party you like, invite your own friends and ask them each to bring R10 with their thanksgiving wish. 10 friends x R10 = R100 per party.

And there’s Project Mistletoe

When you get your Christmas bonus donate R100. Get your friends to do the same! Will you really feel it?

And last but not least, there’s Project Blog

If you have a blog- please tell your readers about this.

If 10 of my readers decide to punt this cause on their blogs, and 2 of the ten decide to support the fund financially that’s R2000 a year. And if 10 of their readers promote Liam’s cause with 2 of each of their readers supporting it financially, that’s R20000 a year!

AND there’s a Facebook group where you can go and get the banking details and such as well, and get your Facebook friends to share the love too.

And if you mention it on Twitter, you can use the #LentforLiam hashtag!

And here are the account details:

Name: LJ Cadger

Bank: Standard Bank

Branch: Norwood

Branch Code: 004105

Account Number: 006867480

Go for it bunnies.

You know you want to.

Should I Be Worried...

... that when I read other mommy blogs about how proud they are of their children and how full of mommy love they are and how much they love their kidlets... that I can't seem to summon up any of those feelings for my knucklehead?

Make no mistake- I will never ever stop loving him, he is my Damien.

But I don't like him very much right now.

I want my little Strawbreez back.

I want my little snugglepumpkin back... the little monster who would squish his feet in behind my bum on the couch- back when he still fitted on one cushion- so we could watch TV together.

I want my munchkin who used to want to sit on my lap and wrap his arms around my neck and snuggle up to me for absolutely no reason other than I happened to be sitting down.

As smart as he is, and as brilliant as I know he can be, I am THIS close to telling him to get the hell out and make something of himself!

He spends all day every day at home. Playing PS2, watching TV, smoking the odd joint, and eating me out of house and home. He's still taking his meds as far as I can tell- apart from last week- but the grass counteracts it, and he knows that! And he knows I don't want him smoking it because its illegal as well as bad for him.
I just don't know what to do anymore to try and motivate him to do something for himself!
He's making no attempt to find work, and as much as I am enjoying having no school related stress anymore- he is slowly but surely using up all his credit in my good books.

Any other moms to adults out there ever felt this way?